(Originally Posted 06-03-09)

"Drag Me to Hell" sucked!! That's right I said it. I don't care what the critics and rotten tomatoes have said, it was boring. It was a full 99 minutes of nothing but this.



99 minutes of my life gone. I should have been training.

Anyhoo, I had high hopes for this movie. The last movie that gave me a genuine fright was "The Exorcism of Emily Rose". I'd been waiting for something good and scary to come along and give me the frights again, but alas I was disappointed.

The theatre was packed with people but obviously they were nothing but women, children and lesser men. Everyone was screaming but me. Seriously, there was this big, body-building looking dude sitting a couple of seats down from me who kept mumbling, crying and chewing his fingernails. He was that scared. Wimp.

Overall, I guess I was mainly disappointed because I kept playing the "If it were me..." game. You know where you are watching a movie and the "killer" is coming and the "hero" keeps doing stupid things to keep herself in trouble. So the whole time, you keep playing the scenario over and over in your brain saying what "you would and would not do" in the same situation.

It reminded me of when I watched the movie "Scream" so many years ago. I got so tired of Sidney pushing people and running, I almost had a fit.

"Sidney!!" I screamed. "Don't just push the knife-wielding guy and run! Pick that baseball bat off the floor and beat him until he stops moving!" Problem solved.

"But Ninja!" you may ask," 'Drag me to Hell' didn't have people running around in masks. They were dealing with evil spirits and demons. Things you can't hit with a bat..."

Sure, the movie had to do with fighting demons and evil spirits instead of physical people. But guess what? The Bible's New Testament had plenty of demon defeating techniques in it. It was called "prayer".

Jesus travelled around day and night casting out demons by using God's Word alone and his disciples were able to do it as well.

Mark 6:6-13 states: He [Jesus] went around to the villages in the vicinity teaching. He summoned the Twelve [disciples[ and began to send them out two by two and gave them authority over unclean spirits...They drove out many demons, and they anointed with oil many who were sick and cured them.

See, in the long and short of things, Jesus has already given everyone power over evil and unclean spirits. We just have to rebuke them in His Name and they'll be on their way.
Problem solved.

But still I can't help playing the, "If it were me..." game. What if it were me, AsRayl, in the title role instead of Alison Lohman?

Well, for one thing it'd be a much shorter movie. You'd have the opening credits, then this:


Problem solved. And then Salma Hayek would float down from Heaven on a cloud of pure awesomeness...



And all of this occurred in less than 4.2 minutes. Now there's a movie for ya... Take Care and Be Blessed,

AsRayl, The Dark Ninja.

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